Living

It’s been a while.  Still doing what I do.  Still loving and giving thanks for the blessings and people in my life. 

In three words - life is good.

It’s the third month of school and the kids transitioned from a relaxed summer routine to a structured, learning and sports routine almost seamlessly.  I think they adjust much easier than us. Us being the adults and one of us, acts like he is an old man.  A grumpy old man at that.  This year, Elliott’s school day is an hour longer.  That was good news and it’s about time.  He hasn’t noticed a difference. He never even complained. They are getting a later wake-up call too since I am driving to work.  I’ve been over the pros and cons of driving versus taking the bus.  I have to say, I really miss my reading time. Really miss it. I am not seeing much text and the librarian probably thinks I have moved. People notice change.  It has been school and sports.  Soccer was a wonderful experience for Olivia.  I had my doubts about her stamina with the sport but she proved me wrong.  So I question myself, “why was I doubtful?”  She had fun, learned the sport and enjoyed playing.  Skills and aggression will develop with each season.  We’ll be looking into local soccer camps that are offered in the spring and over the summer.  Elliott plans to attend a week-long football day camp at Cornell.  We’ll let him experience it and then if he wants to attend the camp again, I might let him stay on campus.  I really dislike cutting my apron strings. It is so difficult for me but so beneficial for them.  Motherhood pros and cons – that’s another topic that I am not ready to write about.

So we are back to sit-down dinners. Nights spent at home. Not rushing around to get out the door for practice.  Although basketball will start soon!  Our nights are filled with “how was your day” dinner talk, homework, baths, reading, watching tv or playing on the Nook or Kindle (not much time for the last options).  John has been busy with the dog. They have been out birding a few times and their bodies are complaining.  Ruddie runs so hard he limps later and John complains about how tired he is.  I told him he needs to condition as well as work with Ruddie. He did not respond to that comment. I smiled and understood: I said out loud what he was thinking.  Yes, I understand.

I have been to a few services over the last two months – four to be exact.  Four too many and one was about 30 years premature.  So I gathered to remember those individuals and enjoyed viewing photos of them and their loved ones, hearing stories and visiting with friends, classmates and school teachers.  It’s always nice when we get together  - the years and miles melt away.  We talk about jobs, children and school (for most it is now colleges) and how we relax.  Life takes all of our time unless we make the time and after the last few services, I will be making the time to visit with family and friends.  I like writing letters as well so I plan to start sending letters or hello cards to people – just because I want them to know they crossed my mind.  Will you be one of those people?

People come and stay or pass through each of our lives.  I don’t handle the passing through very well. I like to hang on to friendships but have learned to walk away when the relationship is and for me, has been, a one-way street.  It is hard for me but let’s say, I have put my walking boots on quite frequently and now I feel better walking than I do trying to “hang on”.  I have better living to do than wasting time on people that just don’t give a damn about me.  Life can get too complicated when you struggle to keep it the same. We all change.  We go through life in different stages. Whatever stage you are in, sets the stage for those adults and families you become acquainted with.  Distance is another factor as well.  It shouldn’t be due to all the technology our world is built around but honestly, the last thing I want to do when I get home is boot up the computer and send emails. Facebook is nice for hearing the latest news from your friends but I am not a ‘post-everything or often’ person.  I need human interaction.  Come visit and we can talk over a hot cup of coffee, tea or cocoa and some cookies.

Tonight is a special night.  The men of the house are leaving to drive north and will spend the night in a hotel.  They are going on a fishing trip tomorrow and have to be at the river early.  They are both so excited they are bursting at the seams. I am happy for them and hope they each catch a big steelhead.  Elliott fears his fish will cough up the hook if he does catch one.  I hope not. I want this to be a fun, exciting and rewarding experience. I know it will be memorable.  Their day will start really early and I am fretting.  Allergies have been bothering Elliott so I hope he remembers to take his medicine. I have packed it.  I don’t want him to fall out of the boat or get hurt.  I know he is with his father. I cannot help it, sometimes I worry when we are all sleeping at night. Safely in our own home.  I stress over possibilities, not actuals, and that ages me – emotionally ages me. So with the men out of the house for the night, the little miss and I will be making dinner together and having a quiet dinner.  I offered to take her out for dinner but she wanted to stay home and make our dinner. Either way, I cannot lose – I get to spend time with our beautiful daughter.  I am bursting at the seams!  Just me and Olivia. I even bought her dessert that she doesn’t know about.  She loves magnum ice cream bars so I have some in the freezer downstairs.  Depending on her school work, maybe we can watch a movie or paint her nails. I’m happy just having her all to myself.  Ruddie will feel abandoned but Olivia is looking forward to having him sleep with her.